My Dad Was Right, Life Isn’t Fair

This morning I clicked on Facebook to see a “Memory” from 6 years ago. My mom and friends convinced me to go to my Sophomore homecoming after skipping the previous year. I was never one for dances after my freshman mixer. Let’s just say I tried being cool and ended up slipping on a puddle of water in the middle of a dance circle.

That was fun.


The same picture is one of the last pictures I have of my mom and me, 8 months before she left us. You can see her face at the early stages of swelling from the chemo, her hair beginning to thin. I recently learned she had her eyebrows tattooed on after the hairs fell out.

What a bad ass.

You know what sucks? This was the last big “life event” I had with my mom. She didn’t get to see me go to prom. She wasn’t there for my 18th birthday. She won’t see me get married, nor will my boyfriend ever have the pleasure of meeting her. It really throws me off when I think about the fact that my 61 year-old dad still has his mom, and 21 year-old me doesn’t. That’s not fair.

When I shared this picture onto my Facebook feed, I got a cluster of likes. I feel like people feel obligated to like pictures of dead people. It’s almost like if you don’t, they’re going to smite you from the afterlife.

There was one comment, other than my dad’s, from a kid I went to grade school with. He met my mom because she was the school secretary and everyone knew Mrs. Weiss. The comment read, “One of the best human beings anyone could ever meet.”

All I could think was yes.

I know everyone says that their mom is the best mom. And everyone starts out comparing their mom with an identical sentence. But my mom was more than the best mom. She was the best friend, wife, secretary, hugger, and overall person. She was so incredibly selfless. So patient and pure. She could put a smile on just about anyone’s face.

She was one of the best human beings anyone could ever meet.



  1. I wish I could have met your Mom. We would have been AWESOME
    Mother-in-Laws together 😍
    There are some moms other moms can’t measure up to and I bet she was THAT Mom!
    Love you Sweetie😘


  2. Your mom always had such a gentle smile and was always so pleasant, even in her sickness! I will forever remember your mom!❤️


  3. Jess I did know your mom and she was a good mom to all of you. I saw her and your dad fall in love and was at their wedding. She loved life and she had a beautiful singing voice. I know that all who knew her did love her. When we see her pictures on post I know that I think of the good times there were with her. Our prayers and thoughts are with you.


  4. Jess,
    I was one of those STM moms that adored you mother. She was always smiling, patient and kind to me and my boys. You are a beautiful reflection of her love. When I saw this picture- I smiled. I am a better person for knowing her.
    God bless,
    Mary Kiger


  5. I am sorry that you lost your mom at such a young age,yes it does seem unfair. Try to look at it from a different angle. Think about all of the great things you did get to share with your mom. How fortunate you are to have known her so well. These are the things she would want you to think about not the things that have not happened yet.

    I lost my mom when I was in my early 50’s and I was devastated that she was not here to see my first grandson. Then I think about her being there when I had my children and how she helped me. Those were such good memories. I realized that no matter your age you never quit missing your mom. Spend a day and think of the good days you had together. The vacations and the shopping trips. Think about the times that you and she laughed to hard that you cried. There are endless things a daughter does with her mom. I know that when I pass these are the things I want my children to think about not the things they will miss. I want my children to be happy always.

    Think about this. Think of your mom and smile. I am sure she is smiling down on you.


  6. I never had the privilege to meet your mom, Jess, but from all you say and write about her, you definitely inherited all her wonderful qualities. You’re a beautiful, smart, generous and giving person and I’m sure your mom is just as proud of you today, if not prouder, than she looks in this picture. Your mom is beaming with joy and hugging you with pride. Even with her illness, her joy and pride for you shined right through. What a special picture that says so much.

    Cathy Schuessler


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